From the desk of the Monkey:
We met yesterday in Vortex Pinnacle and I wanted to write this today to let you know of my undying hatred toward you. When we first met you were wearing all those epics and I was hopeful ours would be a great, if brief, steamy love story in wich we would annihilate our enemies, get our loot and fly away into the sunset, glad to have found one another for a short hour.
I should have suspected something when you started using language befitting a 18th century slave driver.
The fact that you brought along your three incestuous, retarded sisters did not help at all. There was Sleepy, never there when we needed her. Loopy, who knew of autoattack and nothing else and finally Dumbass, who felt that healing was better done in dps gear. By your own admission they were failures but they were your sisters so I guess it was normal you loved them.
So I pulled, each pull more painful than the last, each time coming close to death and each time I was doing more dps than the dps, more healing that the healer thank to my healing strikes. How we managed to kill that first boss is beyond me. As we went along you never missed an occasion to demean or belittle me .
I admit, I have my faults too. I accepted this without a word. I was blinded by my standing with the Guardians of Hyjal and by the promess of buying a new pair of pantaloons for my next dance with Magmaw. I hope in time I will be able to forgive myself.
Before Altarius I threw down the gauntlet. Either you would remove Sleepy or I would be excusing myself from the run. You chose Sleepy over me and I was glad for it.
Before continuing further I want to ask you a question. How is it that with all your gear you do less dps than me, the tank? It’s obvious you knew the ways of Blackwing Descent and Twilight Bastion so how can you be so bad?
So I left the party, sad that our love story would never happen but glad that the abusive relationship was over. That’s when you pulled out your ace. You rolled a character on my realm and whispered to me: “LOL! Its Novocaine! We really thought you’d drag us threw the whole place with Sleepy faking AFK. We had bets for how long you’d last. Your a nub! LOLOLOL!”
I wish you upon you the seven plagues of Egypt. I wish you to be kidnapped by pygmies and molested in every possible way until the end of times. I wish you to have to watch Twilight for ever, movie after movie after movie in an endless loop. I wish you pain and suffering.
The 400 pound ape about to ripe you apart.